Episode Transcript
February is International Boost Self-Esteem Month. It’s also the month of love day or Valentine’s Day, so why not practice self-love? Today, I want to share 12 easy steps to be your best self.
Hi, and welcome to Making Friends with Depression. I am your host, Charles Minguez.
At the top of every show, I like to give a bit of history and a disclaimer so listeners know why I’m doing this whole thing and where I’m coming from.
First, the history.
I’ve lived most of my life with major depression and schizoaffective disorder. I was first diagnosed at 13, and now I’m in my 40’s. So mental illness and wellness have been a pretty big part of my life.
I also have 20-plus years of experience practicing mindfulness. At age 21, I studied yogic philosophy with Dr. Bob Butera at the Yoga Life Institute. Eventually, I committed to becoming a Buddhist and even taught beginner meditation classes.
I volunteered my time with the National Alliance on Mental Illness, or NAMI, as a Peer Support Specialist and facilitated meetings for adults experiencing poor mental wellness.
My story, plus my lived experience, is something that I hope others find inspirational. My motivation, however, is to give back and help others. This podcast is one way that I can do that.
Now, the disclaimer.
I’m not a therapist or a counselor. The content on this show is not meant to be taken as medical advice. I’m only trying to inspire hope by sharing my story and techniques that helped me during my healing process.
Like most people, you probably want to change your life and wonder how to be your best self. And, like most people, you're probably a bit nervous because you don't know where to start. Or maybe you're frustrated because you tried an online course where you "manifest the best life ever," but it didn't work.
Listen, it's okay. Please don't beat yourself up, and definitely don't be nervous. Many online courses are no better than a New Year's resolution, and I think we all know how those go.
I want to share with you twelve ways to be your best self. No resolutions are needed! No silly online courses. These twelve powers (I like to call them) are simple and can be done anywhere. After the twelve powers, I'll share some insight into the motivation on how they work and how to overcome potential pitfalls.
Let's get started!
12 Powerful Ways to Be Your Best Self Today!
1. The Power of Self-Care and Self-Love
Understand that practicing self-care is not selfish. Self-love is the foundation of becoming your best self. Remember, you're more than enough, just the way you are and it’s okay to take time for yourself.
2. The Power of Being Realistic
It takes time to implement change, and that's okay! Think about the amount of time you have to implement something new in your life. Put this time into your calendar, then create clear boundaries for 'you time.'
3. The Power of Asking for Help!
No one person is an island; we're all interconnected. Ask your partner, a friend, or a family member to help around the house or to take the kids so you can have time to work on yourself.
4. The Power of Your Strengths and Weaknesses
Take time to write out a list of at least 10 of your strengths and 10 weaknesses. Review your list: can you use any of your strengths to overcome your current weaknesses?
5. The Power of Comfort Zones
When you hit a pocket of comfort, it can mean you're mastering something. But it can also suggest you're afraid to move forward. Explore areas where you feel comfortable and investigate any fears around those areas of your life - why are you scared? Are you scared? Are there things holding you back and why?
6. The Power of Setting Goals
Take time to write out a career, family, and personal goals. Start big by thinking five to ten years out, then begin working backward to the present day. What steps can you start taking today to make those goals a reality?
7. The Power of Eliminating Distractions
Once you have ‘you time’ in your calendar, use that time effectively to better yourself. This means turning notifications off, silencing your devices, and getting off social media and email.
8. The Power of Healthy Habits
Outside of diet and exercise, two of the most powerful habits you can create are ensuring you get enough sleep and you drink enough water. This means not sleeping with your phone in your room! Make sure you’re getting enough sleep and drinking enough water.
9. The Power of Positive Words
Pay attention to your internal dialogue. What does it sound like? Is your inner voice encouraging, or is it talking down? Your words have more power than you know, so introduce positive affirmations.
10. The Power to Try New Things
A fast way to excel your growth is to just try something new without any attachments or expectations. Sign up for a class. Paint that picture. Go for a run. It doesn't matter what the activity is. What matters is that you're continuing to shake off the rust and put yourself out there.
11. The Power of Celebrating the Little Wins
On day one of your new routine(s), celebrate! Maybe you woke up early to exercise or meditate. Perhaps you reached out and asked for help. Celebrate, celebrate, celebrate. You're on the path and that’s something to celebrate!
12. The Power to Help Others
Now that you have worked so hard to be your best self, help others do the same thing! Be the person who offers support.
Motivation to Be Your Best Self (You've Got This!)
Let’s talk about motivation. Your motivation will determine the amount of change you experience, along with the amount of effort you put in. How to be your best self often comes down to asking yourself, "What's my intention or what’s my why?"
Why do you want to be better? Who are you doing this for? These are essential questions to ask. If your intention is to simply better yourself, then your chances of succeeding are far more powerful. On the other hand, if your preference is to simply impress others, then there's a good chance you'll give up or maybe even fail.
Having a firm understanding of motivation can help you become the best you.
Intrinsic Motivation Vs. Extrinsic Motivation
There are two types of motivation, intrinsic motivation and extrinsic motivation. Another way to think about this is "inside" vs. "outside." Each style is unique and directly correlates to intention.
If your "how to be your best self" includes extrinsic motivation, you're going to engage in activities based on earning some type of reward or avoiding some type of punishment. And if your "how to be your best self" includes intrinsic motivation, you're going to engage in activities because you actually enjoy them and the sense of personal growth those activities provide.
Ultimately, it's fair to say that you need a balance of intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. Why? Because there will be some things you don't want to do but you need to do to better yourself. In this case, extrinsic motivation can help, especially when rewards are involved! Who doesn’t like rewards?
Overcoming Obstacles and There Will Be Obstacles
When you're on the path of discovering how to be your best self, you will hit some roadblocks. Being patient is essential to deal with these things as they come up. Often you can use these challenges to further your growth!
Two of the most common obstacles you may face include:
1. The mind is filled with fear
2. You struggle to discover your strengths
The Nature of Fear: It Isn't that Scary!
Fear is a strange emotion. Fear can appear when we're taking on new things and can occur while we're making changes and actually experiencing growth. It can keep us from moving forward or catapult us toward our goals. Isn't that interesting?
From my recent experience, I switched day jobs. My previous job was pretty decent, but it wasn't 100% what I wanted. I got very intentional about the job I wanted, researched, and put in the work. I landed an awesome job, but I was scared during the process.
Even though there was fear, there was a common theme underlying the entire experience - showing up and putting in the effort. Whether our fear is, a demotivator or motivator depends on our action.
Discover Your Strengths and Become a Superstar!
Many people struggle to define their strengths. I want to share with you a quick way to start a list of strengths.
All you have to do is post one question on one of your social media accounts. Ask your family, friends, and followers this one question, "When you think of me, what comes to mind?" Ask your family and friends in person if you don't use social media. You'll be amazed by the answers you get.
You can take these answers and begin to cross-reference them with things you love to do. Pay attention to recurring themes or trends. This is a great way to get a list of your strengths started!
What Does Your Best Self Mean?
I want to challenge you to work with the twelve powers. Take as much time as you need with each one before moving on to the next.
When you complete the twelve, I believe you'll notice a significant change in your life. If not, there's no shame in starting again. Remember the Power of Being Realistic - often, it takes time for us to implement change, and that's okay so long as we are putting in the effort.
So what are you waiting for? Get started now!
Support the Show!
Thanks for being here. I appreciate you listening. If you’d like to learn more about what was discussed in today’s episode, visit my website, Making Friends With Depression. You’ll find today’s transcript and resources.
Also, help me spread the word about Making Friends With Depression by sharing this episode with a friend today!
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Until next time friend, be well and many blessings!