Episode Transcript
We can use an exercise called the practice of rejoicing to help us feel peace when we’re living with depression and others around us are seemingly succeeding in life. This practice helps us to turn internal dread into internal peace. Welcome to Making Friends With Depression.
Hello friends, and welcome back to another edition of Making Friends with Depression. I am your host, Charles Minguez.
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Before we dive into the show, I like to share some background information, so listeners know why I’m doing this podcast and where I’m coming from.
My History With Depression and Mindfulness
I’ve lived most of my life with major depression and schizoaffective disorder. I was first diagnosed at 13, and I’m now in my 40’s. So, mental illness and wellness have been a big part of my life.
When it comes to mindfulness, I have studied it for over 20 years. I started with yogic philosophy with Dr. Bob Butera at the Yoga Life Institute. Over time, my path changed, and I found my way to Buddhism. I’m a practicing Buddhist and even teach beginner meditation classes.
As my healing progressed, I volunteered as a Peer Support Specialist with the National Alliance on Mental Illness, also known as NAMI, where I facilitated meetings for adults experiencing poor mental wellness.
I Am Not a Therapist
But listen, I’m not a therapist or a counselor. The content on this show is not meant to be taken as medical advice. I’m only trying to inspire hope by sharing my story and the techniques that helped me during my healing process because I think you’ll find them helpful too.
My story, plus my lived experience, is something that I hope others find inspirational. My motivation, however, is to give back and help others. This podcast is one way that I can do that.
When we’re not feeling well, sometimes we look around and see others “doing well” and begin to experience a pang of anger and jealousy. Believe it or not, the best way to overcome this jealousy is the practice of rejoicing in the other person’s good fortune.
This practice comes from Buddhism, but it’s a practice we can all engage in and see the benefits. Today, I’ll share how to begin the practice of rejoicing, share a personal story, then explain why it’s so important to rejoice in others’ good fortune.
The Practicing of Rejoicing
We can all do this practice. At first, it may be challenging, but I can promise that the final result will be worth the effort. The peace you will experience in your heart will be overwhelming - in a good way!
The best way to begin this practice is actually with ourselves. We can only change our world by first changing our minds. We must start with where we are now regardless of our current situation.
Look at your current experience and highlight one area in which you can rejoice. If you’re experiencing depression, maybe you can rejoice in the fact that you are seeking treatment. This is certainly something to celebrate!
Even if your situation is more dire, like you have no money or poor living conditions, we can rejoice that we have a human life. How wonderful that we have a precious human life. Definitely, something to celebrate!
Beginning with our own experiences helps to change the nature of our mind and creates a strong foundation to do this practice while focusing on others.
Expanding The Practice of Rejoicing
As we get more comfortable in the practice of rejoicing, we can extend our practice out from ourselves into the world of our family and friends, then to our neighbors or co-workers, and then maybe even to complete strangers.
From my own experience with this situation: I remember a few years back when a co-worker and I applied for the same position. This job would be a promotion within the company. At the time, I really needed the money. But in the end, my co-worker got the job, and I was certainly upset.
In reality, I had no reason to be angry. This co-worker of mine was a great guy; honestly, he deserved the job more than me. I was angry and jealous because I was clinging to something I believed should be mine, which is called desirous attachment. Celebrating his success helped me to feel peace in my heart.
Rejoicing Is The Antidote
This sort of attachment comes from wanting control. We want something to happen in the future. It causes a lot of pain and suffering both in the present and the immediate future. It’s a fire that burns more fiercely and violently unless we do something about it.
Another truth or reality is that often things are out of our control. Sometimes we get sick with mental illness. Sometimes, mental illness or other emotional or physical ailments seemingly come out of nowhere. We’re left wholly defeated while those around us continue with their lives.
At our lowest, we scroll social media to see folks living it up or hear positive news from our friends or relatives. We think to ourselves, “Well, isn’t that nice.” Or “Why can’t that be me.” We’re grasping at a future that isn’t coming, isn’t there, and it hurts.
Why The Practice of Rejoicing Is So Important
As I said, the practice of rejoicing is the way to overcome this pain. It sounds counterintuitive but extinguishes the burning flame of anger and jealousy. From the ashes, a beautiful and new future is built.
From the example with my co-worker, it took a while to get over it. But I clearly remember when I could drop the hot ember in my heart. During a meditation practice, I clearly imagined what it would be like for my co-worker to have this new role. In this new role, I could see that he could better support his family, which brought peace to my heart. I rejoiced in his good fortune.
Soon after that meditation, my world opened up in ways I could only imagine. I got a new job. I was making more money. The entire trajectory of my life had changed. I promise you will begin to experience change when you do this practice.
Support the Show!
Thanks for being here. I appreciate you listening. If you’d like to learn more about what was discussed in today’s episode, visit my website, Making Friends With Depression. You’ll find today’s show’s notes and resources.
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Until next time friend, and many blessings!