Working With Negative Thought Patterns

Written by Charles Minguez | Podcast

Making Friends With Depression

Working with Negative Thoughts

Negative thought patterns are not uncommon but combined with depression, it can be debilitating. You can’t just turn them off. Or can you?

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Episode Transcript

How often have you heard, “Just think positive," and you wanted to barf? Negative thought patterns are not uncommon, but for someone living with depression, it can be debilitating. You can’t just turn them off. Or can you? Welcome to Making Friends With Depression.

Hello friends, and welcome back to another edition of Making Friends with Depression. I am your host, Charles Minguez.

Quickly at the top of the show, I’d like to take care of some housekeeping. Hey, listen. If you enjoy the show, please rate and review it on whatever podcast platform you listen on. It really helps drive the show up the charts.

You can also support the show by picking up some Making Friends With Depression merch. There are some really cool hoodies, t-shirts, and coffee mugs. Or consider becoming a patron for as little as $1 a month and explore the cool perks that come along with supporting the show.

You can find links for the merch store, Patreon, etc., in the show notes and over at Making Friends With Depression dot com.

Before we dive into the show, I want to share some background information so you know why I’m doing this podcast and where I’m coming from.

My History With Depression and Mindfulness

My history with depression and mindfulness goes something like this. I’ve lived most of my life with major depression and schizoaffective disorder. I was first diagnosed at 13, and I’m now in my 40’s. So, mental illness and wellness have been a big part of my life.

I have spent over twenty years studying mindfulness. I started with yogic philosophy at the Yoga Life Institute. But over time, I found my way to Buddhism. I’m a practicing Buddhist and sometimes teach beginner meditation classes.

As my healing progressed, I volunteered with the National Alliance on Mental Illness, also known as NAMI, and facilitated meetings for adults experiencing poor mental wellness.

My story, plus my lived experience, is something that I hope others find inspirational. My motivation, however, is to give back and help others. This podcast is one way that I can do that.

I Am Not a Therapist

But listen, I’m not a therapist or a counselor. The content on this show is not meant to be taken as medical advice. I’m only trying to inspire hope by sharing my story and the techniques that helped me during my healing process because I think you’ll find them helpful too.

Negative Thought Patterns and What to Do About Them?

I want to start by saying that this episode is as much a reminder for myself as it is a way to share methods to help you. To be completely transparent, I had been experiencing persistent negative thoughts that pushed me to research negative thinking.

Doing the research reminded me that I have some great tools and must remember to tap into them. Plus, I found some new ones I want to share with you.

Recognize and Identify the Negative Thoughts

But first, we need to recognize and identify negative thoughts. It’s important to remember that we all experience negative thinking. It doesn’t mean that we are experiencing mental illness. Ask yourself, is it a negative thought or an accurate description of a bad situation?

Things happen in life, things that aren’t pleasant. We might lose a job or friendship, and it would be totally normal to have negative thoughts about these experiences. However, when negative thinking persists, we begin to see problems.

These persistent negative thoughts are known as cognitive distortion because they distort the real nature of the situation. It’s important to catch the negative thinking before it spirals out of control and into cognitive distortion.

Examples of Negative Thought Patterns

A few of the most common examples of negative thought patterns are Focusing on the negative, Should thoughts, Overgeneralizing, All-or-nothing thinking, and Control, Fairness, and Change Fallacies.

Listen to these examples, and as you listen, ask if you recognize any within yourself. No judgments. Just be honest with yourself.

Focus on the Negative: sometimes referred to as ‘filtering,’ is when you filter out the good and focus exclusively on the bad. An example of filtering might be the thought, “I’m sad that I’m lonely. No one will ever like me.”
Should Thinking: this is a thought you have about yourself or that you project onto others. When you begin to experience should thinking, you’re most likely heading down the road of disappointment. An example of should thinking could be, “I should be at a better place in my life.”
Overgeneralizing: is when you take one example and apply it to everything. For example, ”I got laid off. I’ll never find another job.”
All-or-Nothing Thinking: or black-and-white thinking keeps you from seeing the bigger picture. “If I don’t get a raise at my next review, I have no future at this company.” This is black-and-white thinking.
Control Fallacies: are when you feel like you have no control, and so you tell yourself it’s pointless, or you feel like you do have control, and so you’re to blame for everything that’s gone wrong.
Fairness Fallacies: is seeing the world and your experience through the lens of “life isn’t fair.”
Change Fallacies: someone or something will eventually change to suit your needs.

Can you recognize any of these negative thought patterns? If so, put them to the side and hold onto them for a minute. Next, we’re going to talk about how to shift your mind away from those negative thoughts.

How to Shift Your Mind from Negative Thoughts

You can use mindfulness to help you shift away from negative thought patterns. To do this, you begin by asking yourself, “Is this a negative thought pattern, or is it simply an accurate description of a bad situation.” Doing this creates a bit of space between yourself and the thought so you can take the appropriate next steps.

If what you’re experiencing is a description of a bad situation, then there’s a simple solution. You’ve identified the issue, so now you can begin to think about how to address it. For example, maybe you’re driving and get a flat tire, so you become upset. The thoughts of feeling upset are associated with an accurate, unpleasant experience. There’s nothing wrong with you. You simply need to repair the tire.

If what you’re experiencing isn’t a description of a bad situation, and the thoughts are ones you recognize as recurring, then there’s a bit more work that needs to be done.

Breaking Negative Thought Patterns

Regardless of whether the negative thoughts are recurring or if they’re describing a not-so-good situation, your mindfulness is recognizing the thoughts, and that’s a crucial first step.

In the experience of recurring negative thoughts, consider cataloging them by writing them down. Or even say them out loud as you experience them. These exercises help you better understand what triggers those negative thought patterns and how to break them.

A great tool to incorporate into your practice is using ‘Unhelpful vs. Helpful Thoughts’ or ‘Unhelpful Thoughts vs. Call to Action Thoughts.’ These two models can be included in a journaling exercise.

An example of Unhelpful vs. Helpful Thought might be: “This is too hard for me.” Vs. “This is new, and I’m learning.”

An example of Unhelpful Thoughts Vs. Call to Action Thoughts might be: “This is too hard.” Vs. “Who do I know who can help me do this?”

Find an Alternative Thought

Negative thought patterns that create cognitive distortion push you to believe in a reality that simply isn’t true. You begin to buy into the false narrative. You really believe you have evidence to prove it too.

Why not flip the script and look for the evidence to refute the false narrative? When you recognize a negative thought, notice it’s there, then plug in the opposite thought. Use the above exercises to get more comfortable easing the negative thoughts. I’m working on it, and I hope you will too.

Support the Show

Ok, that’s it for today’s show. Thanks for being here. I appreciate you listening. If you’d like to learn more about what was discussed in today’s episode, visit my website, Making Friends With Depression. You’ll find today’s show notes and resources.

If you enjoy the show's content and want to stay updated on all the latest and greatest things happening here at Making Friends With Depression, make sure to join the Newsletter. You’ll find a link in the show notes.

Ok, thanks again, and until next time friend, many blessings!

I'm Charles Minguez

Charles has over twenty-five years of lived experience managing anxiety and major depression. Various mental health podcasts and publications have shared his story. Charles is a featured author on The Good Men Project.

[…] In last week’s episode, I talked about how people just casually throw around the expression, “Just think positive.” For someone living with depression, this phrase can be frustrating. But there’s data showing that cultivating a positive mindset can boost your mental health. […]